Good Question

The lesson on China was interesting today. The kindergarten class loved the photos of the goldfish, Temple of Heaven, laundry hanging across the railing on apartment buildings. We listened to Chinese music and talked about kites and chopsticks. They were showing their visitor such wonderful manners. It was sweet and innocent. Then one little blonde girl raised her hand and asked, "Why don't Chinese people keep their little baby girls?"
Okay, it's not that I don't think kids these days are smart, but I hadn't prepared for that one. I looked helplessly at the teacher. "I don't know how much of this you want to get into - "
"Oh yeah, sure go ahead."
Thanks.
So I did. Alison just sat there sort of looking like it was all news to her. Her face got kind of red and she kept looking at her feet. I wanted to walk over to her and say, "but you've heard all this before. You know all this. I even made you a little book that tells the whole story and you LOVE THAT BOOK!" So why was she looking so funny??
I guess it's one thing to hear the story by yourself. It's another to hear it in the middle of all your friends. Maybe it sounds different. Less convincing? The deal is, I believe it. I know without a doubt her birth mother and father loved her. It's just that they live in China, not the US. And they don't have the same choices we have. And they feel backed into a corner and they don't know what to do.
Try explaining all of that to a group of kindergartners. Or your six year-old daughter.
It was a good question. But the answer doesn't always leaves you with a warm fuzzy feeling. There's a happy ending for us, but there are all these part of the story that keep hanging around nagging at you. As soon as I finished bumbling around explaining to these five and six year-olds about populations control and China's one child policy and the lack of a social welfare system that takes care of the elderly, Alison was back to normal. I suppose just like everything else that is a part of being adopted, she will have to come to terms with her story. So we'll keep telling it.
"How long ago we said goodbye, our tears mingling together." - Li Cunxu, Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms